Belief, Marijuana, and Sitcoms

I took a new med. It has caused me to feel the worst I have in a long time. When are they gonna prescribe medicinal marijuana for depression? I so want to just not give a shit.

I have spent this week fighting with my brain. I find myself so angry. Angry that I feel like such a whiner, like this depression is all I talk about. I don’t want to be that way. I want to be in a good place so bad. There is no reason to feel like wanting to die except for that is where my brain goes. A lot

My head feels like it is vibrating all the time. I am not sure if this is an ECT side effect or not. I still believe the ECT will work. I still believe the way I feel now is just temporary. This is what I hang on to, this belief. I feel lucky I can feel that.

I live a life surrounded by kind, caring, creative, giving people. I feel very lucky about that too.

I have no patience. Sometimes I wonder if there is a yet to be discovered disease called 80s/90s Chronic Sitcom Watcher-itis, where the symptoms include a belief that all problems, no matter how bad should be solved in a 1/2 hour, or at most a special two parter. Maybe medicinal marijuana can be prescribed for that.