Road trip!

Part of me wants to die. Part of me wants to hurt myself. I hate this part of me (and that’s probably part of the problem.) I have been battling this crap on and off for over 15 years but this past year these thoughts of suicide and self harm have been a lot more on.

I have tried to get better in so many ways, hours of talk therapy, different behavior programs, joyous stays at delightful local psych hospitals, several shocks to my brain, and still I am struggling, in fact it’s getting worse. And that sucks but there is something good because even with everything I’ve tried, there is still another option. I will start this option tomorrow and I am very grateful.

The thoughts of death and wanting to hurt myself are so so loud right now but I am pushing through, reminding myself of tomorrow and the hope it offers and also of all of you and the caring and warmth you’ve brought to my life.

Thank You.