Never Ending Story
Shocks to my brain gave me temporary relief and I am grateful and even though so many memories were taken from me, I don’t think that is what I’m pissed about. I think I am angry about what is left. ECT took wonderful memories and some bad memories too I’m sure, but it left the same shitty foundation.
Suicide’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem they say but who says this problem is temporary?
Cause honestly it feels that everything I’ve tried are temporary solutions to a permanent problem.
So I’m struggling, getting help that feels helpful, yet brings to the surface so much pain. I am here. I am staying. There are no quick fixes, easy solutions. I can’t write or talk this shit away, It has to be lived and deconstructed and I have to be alive for that. So I am.
Or as Garfield would say “Ugh, Mondays.”
Jennifer Gonzales
I’m about to under go my first ECT treatment on 2/8/2016 I’m scared. Medicine did crap for me unless you count the violent vomiting or diarrhea! Been suffering depression…. Ptsd….. Suicide for years. I watched your video and helped some but still scared. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this world plus it help to know I’m not alone too. Thanks for sharing what I tried to hide for many years.
Deena Nyer Mendlowitz
Good luck. I will be thinking of you. ECT definitely has upsides and is worth trying. Keep fighting, it’s rough, I know.