My Labor Day Story
Dear Deena,
I was sorry to hear about your health.
I have read your intelligent, brave, and generous blog. It helped me understand and therefore accept.
Keep fighting – your many gifts may have come at a high price but the world is a better place because people like you are in it. Many of us have self-destructive tendencies – chasing spirals of meaning. The lucky ones get fixated on why they want to live.
Your blog says that you are a good hugger. Me too – and although I shy away from work hugs I would make an exception in your case. If you ever needed it.
The above note is from a woman at my old job, my boss’ boss. As I continue to struggle to find full-time employment and people suggest to me that I should remove my website or not be so open about my health, I always go back to this note.
During my experience at this job, I was hospitalized twice, did an all-day out patient program, and had ECT. I did excellent work there, but like anyone with an illness I was not at full capacity (though I also brought talents that were unique and irreplaceable.)
My employers never gave me a hard time about any of it, something very rare when dealing with mental health in the workplace. In fact I assume it was my boss who had found my website and shared it with his boss and because of him and because of my openness, and my writing, she understood and supported me. And more importantly, if she encountered someone in her next job, or a friend or family member struggling with mental illness, she now could better understand them because of what I shared (and her willingness to read and understand it all.)
On Labor Day and everyday I feel grateful for those bosses, and committed to my decision to be so open about my illness. All change comes with a cost and it is up to us to decide whether it is worth it or not.