“It was so good I forgot to eat my candy.” 

At seven, this was my review of The Muppets Take Manhattan. While most critics disagreed with this assessment, I loved this movie. I remember laughing as Rizzo the rat skating on pads of butter while they cooked in the restaurant. I remember being concerned when Kermit was hit by a car and got amnesia.

Like amnesia-ridden Kermit, my memories end there, except for the comment about the candy.

I saw Wreck-it Ralph with my son today. We had already seen it once before but it was at the dollar theater. We love the dollar theater and Wreck-it Ralph is a delightful movie.

It so happens the dollar theater is located across the street from the psychiatric bed and breakfast I spent five days in and the place where I went 21 times for outpatient ECT.

I had been in a psychiatric hospital once before, for less than 24-hours after I attempted suicide by driving my car over an embankment in college.

This is what I remember from that visit:

1. While being admitted to the hospital a nurse asked me “Do you have anything on you that you took with the purpose of killing yourself, like a razor?’

 ”Nope, I’m not really a planner” I replied.

2. While trying to sleep in a dark, bare room, they brought in a roommate who was screaming nonsensically and I obliviously said to myself “Wow, this place is full of crazy people.”

3. The following morning, after driving all night from Cleveland to Peoria, my parents came to get me and I had the best hug I ever had in my life, from my mom.

Though I was only there this most recent time for 5 days, I had quite a few visitors. I felt like the kid at camp who gets tons of mail, feeling both loved and self-conscious that others might be resentful of the attention I was getting.

Having people visit you at a psychiatric hospital is odd. I felt very uncomfortable, not really knowing the right way to play host in this situation. Dammit, if I had only read more Emily Post.

Besides being near the dollar theater, the hospital was also located close to my friend Kim’s house which meant she was able to visit me a few times. Kim went to the drug store before coming to see me and purchased movie theater size boxes of candy for me. This is why I love Kim. She understood I was trapped in a psychiatric hospital with little desire to see a movie and knew these over-sized, almost festive boxes, would seem out of place and hilarious.

Interestingly enough,  the next night I did watch Field of Dreams at the hospital and, much like when I saw Muppets Take Manhattan, I did not eat the candy.Though this time it was because it was taken by the nurses when Kim entered and I would have to ask them for it and that made me uncomfortable.